Wednesday, 22 April 2015

How do I handle my life as a single mom?


Ok, this is a requested post, and a very 'heavy' question for me to bring about. Because I don't really took notice of what I've done to carry on with my life you know? It's just like another normal day for me. But definitely, being a single mom requires yourself to be extra strong, not only for yourself but for your child as well. Well you can say that I've been a single mom since the day my daughter was born (don't ask me anything about this please).
And I'll be open for the sake of my readers, but it's your choice to judge me or not. I have been a mother since I was 18 years old. Right now, I'm 20. So, I am not only a mother, but was also a full time student. I was still at my 1st year when I was pregnant. At that point of time I was faced with major criticisms be it in school or outside school. However, my lecturers were very helpful and motivating, even my PEM who frequently would email me for updates or asking me about my health. My course manager especially was very helpful. I have to say this, he actually went to 5 places across Singapore just to collect baby's items from his ex-students' place with his wife and dropped by my house only at night. If I still have the picture to show you how many items he brought back here, I would have shown you guys. It was A LOT! It can literally cover one store room (not exaggerating)! Well that was just one short story I've digressed relating to this topic HAHAHA! Really thankful to have such kind people in this world, Alhamdulillah! Oh, and I remembered that I rejected the offer to take my exams during the holidays because I simply believe in myself. I know that I can still be like a normal student and I want to take my exams the same period as my friends, despite being different with a big tummy. Alhamdulillah, I passed everything and moved to the next following year with my classmates.
Anyway, the first few months was worst, because it didn't help the fact that there were no single-mom-and-full-time-student roles in my life! Fortunately I have an amazing family who would still accept her. Maybe none of them knew what I had to go through but they babysat and showered baby with love which I really appreciate to this day. Day-to-day duties for a single parent definitely requires extra effort, extra hard work, especially when you are still studying; coping with sleeplessness, baby's school, baby's expenses, my job, my school, etc. But Alhamdulillah I manage to complete my studies and received a diploma. You know, even if you have a child, don't make it as a barrier. If you really want to continue studying just like how you planned before you got your child, then go for it. Besides, your future affects her too. Because there's always a way to work out your problems. If I don't think this way, I think I might ended up quitting school. But how did I resolve the issue was simply by my family's support and finding a way to provide government's support.
Having a child, even after you're married is probably the biggest fear someone would face. At least for me. I've not set my path right, but yet I've already have a kid in my life to commit too. But sooner or later, I'll get past this fear. My life has always been a series of 'Oh, that was tough' crisis, but I just keep on going. You can't let things stop you, you know? You'll get stuck by then. Some things to overcome your panicky situation is to take one step at a time, and forget about long-term planning for once. You have the rest of your life to plot and plan with your short-term plans. These whole time, I have faced with a lot of obstacles and challenges along the way. This includes criticisms and rejections, which have made me loss my self-esteem and self-confidence. On top of that, I have to fight with my feeling of guilt, frustration, hopeless and fear. I had to go through a tough time battling on my own. But now, I truly think that all these feelings and treatment I get will just ruin me even more. And I definitely don't need that, especially now that I have a daughter. You really need to have a very positive mind set and focus just on yourself and your child. If there's anything you see that will do the both of you good, grab it while you have the chance to.

Having Isabel is my motivation to make it happen. The best thing I can do for my daughter is to show her how to be a strong woman without relying on anyone else but Allah.
I hope this answer to your question. Thank you for still sticking around with me even after I didn't update for long.

Until then, in sha Allah.. bye! 💘💘💘
 
 

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